JazzLovesYouMore

Enjoying the thought of the person that I used to be

2012-02-08T12:47:00.000Z

Nothing worse than having the flu. This has left me bed ridden for a few days . But I have a cordless glue gun. So that's okay.
Have ben working on some "3D collages" for my kitsch project , by using things I already have and trying to create something out of them.

Don't ask me when, but ask me why. Don't ask me how, but ask me where.

2012-01-30T23:58:00.001Z

I seem to working like a schizophrenic these days. Or maybe I've developed some sort of ADHD towards my projects , can't seem to stick to one. Here's something I whipped up over the weekend.

Epic cats! Inspired by this video. I have literally been drawing cats like a maniac for the last few days.

At least I'm feeling stimulated.

+major food coma-ing from massive meal at Wahaca's.
+day trippin' it to Ikea. Despite it actually being a massive mission to get to , the fact that you can eat those meatballs just makes up for it. And the princess cake , and the swedish food store , and the cheap...
-buying too much stuff from Ikea , was a bit of a struggle getting everything back.
+got me a Gocco printer.
+holding a zine sale at Uni. (woooo)
+holding a bake sale at Uni. (a reason to bake,wooo)

What's the problem with that? I got no problems with that!

2012-01-26T03:33:00.000Z

Sketch book stuff. Pretty standard. I was running out of pages in my sketchbook , so to remedy the situation? Start sticking different bits of paper in it. Yes , it's meant to look like that (Shhhh).

+I think the most meaningful conversations I've ever had always happened between 3 and 5 in the morning.
-I need a really long sleep this weekend. eurgh.
+MasterChef : so good...So intense!
-I want to go to a gig so baaaad... Someone tell me some good bands to see!
+My buddy Matt came to visit. It was fun. Drunken hide and seek, always a good idea (ahem).
+Just staying in , chillin' , bit o' wine , bit o' ice cream. Awesome company.

Get your act together we could be just fine.

2012-01-25T01:03:00.001Z

Got a Spice Girls tape for christmas from my cousin one year. I listened to it on no end , much to the disappointment of my parents.
Spice Girl songs , are definitely not suitable for children.

My hips they lie 'cause in reality I'm shy, shy, shy

2012-01-22T04:26:00.001Z

Lykke Li x Bon Iver. I'm in heaven.

I've had the most wonderful time as of late. I guess being extravagant and eating out a lot has a lot to do with my good mood (damn my shallowness) . I've made some pretty expensive purchases recently too , on clothes and shoes and generally things I don't really need. But I reason with myself , and justify it all by saying that I'm using my birthday/christmas money. Which is the truth.

Trying to be frugal? Nah. It's not really happening.

I've also quite a few late birthday presents trickling into my life , amongst them , my favourite things are : the "build your own ukelele" kit that my friend Becca gave me , a badge machine that some friends chipped in for & some super cute felt tip pens (which sound lame , but I freakin' love stationary).

Never for money.Always for love.Cover up & say goodnight.

2012-01-12T00:17:00.001Z

I actually got really bored with my self initiated brief about music etc etc. So to mix things up a little , wrote me a new brief along side that one , just to keep the ideas in my head and the ink in my pen flowing.

This is basically an excuse for me to use my glittery Posca pens and draw unicorns and ponies.

The title ... "All things kitsch and beautiful" . I can already tell this is going to be an insane sketchbook.

-slacking a bit during the holidays means there's a lot of catching up to do.

-headaches

+lot's of new books.

-still wishing I was on holiday.

-Uni times are going by really fast. (nooooooo)

-trying to be frugal

+keep movin' forward , remaining positive.

+/-the prospects of graduating , both terrifying and exciting.

The hell outsides kept away.If only we could move away.

2012-01-10T21:56:00.000Z

A few photographs from our time in Totnes.
I love the excitement of getting your film back , flicking through all the pictures and reliving everything temporarily. 35mm film..so much more versatile than a digital camera.

It's been a lot to change but you will always get what you want.

2012-01-10T00:53:00.001Z

It was my birthday on the 4th , and I woke up to the most beautiful sky , all pink and pastel-y.

A sure sign for a good few days ahead. I spend a few nights in Devon with some close friends , we had a really wholesome time. Best birthday ever , especially when I usually just tend to do nothing.

Don't shoot me Santa Clause! I've been a clean living boy.I promise you,did every little thing you asked me too.

2011-12-24T23:17:00.002Z

Have been AWOL as of late..So quick sum up in no particular order:

Christmas dinner, Pocahontas party, cold medicine/alcohol cocktails, mexican shrine shop, broken hearts, pub quiz, new friends, macaroon madness, carrot, spending money on ridiculous things, hang overs, sad goodbyes, happy hello's, interesting bus journeys, bake off's, hospital trips, treacle disaster, epiphanies, really loving she&him's christmas album, watching Love Actually (excessively), dramarama, coffee dates, wrapping christmas presents, Harry Potter, being hit on by lesbians who look like Justin Bieber, embarrassing parents, mexican food feast, "driving home for christmas" is not a good Christmas song, lucky stars, manic shopping, marmalade with gold leaf, lost hat, beard-guy-lust.

On another note , I am really looking forward to my best friend coming and spending a few days with me in Landan. Literally so excited.

Anyway , MERRY CHRISTMAS ALL. Hope everyone has a lovely day full of laughs and meat sweats.

Jazz x

And even after all this time we've passed by.It hits me like a rock and I still don't know why

2011-12-08T20:29:00.002Z

Epic cat non?

Cats are pretty rad, and so is Christmas. I've been getting so much into the Christmas spirit , that I've gone into a baking frenzy. Mince Pie cookies , gingerbread men , amaretti , macaroons. Yeah!

I have mastered macaroons , I even made them whilst I was drunk.

Just really happy doing my baking , that motivation for anything else is non existent.

I'm feeling fairly good these days , I think in really good form compared to this time last year. JEEBUS , I don't really know what happened , I'm just glad I feel half normal these days.

The sun upon the roof in winter will draw you out like a flower,Meet you at the statue in an hour.

2011-12-03T13:09:00.000Z

So what am I listening to these days? A real mix of everything. These are teeny tiny drawings , the size of a stamp , I tried to be as vague but detailed at the same time...(I probably am not making much sense) . I want to make a poster with lot's of these tiny icons all over. I better get started then heh?

-my buddy Jo being away most days.
+Jo's epic return.
+Stephy making the most wonderful dinner. Twas lurvely.
-just hanging out , without feeling guilty post-dissertation
+excited to do my screen printing induction next week.
-sick as a dog. Winter I hate you.
+hanging out with Lea! We had a über productive day , darting from north to south and stopping off in central on the way. Not to mention a yummy dinner.
+advent calendar!
-/+ christmas shopping , love it because I love wrapping and giving gifts , but hate shopping. I actually loathe it , crowded streets , too many people , slow walkers uhhhhhgh.

I ainʼt living in the dark no more , it's not a promise, Iʼm just gonna call it

2011-11-28T20:05:00.000Z

"Alphabeat , the single most cringe-worthy gig I have ever been to.Apart from , embarrassingly enough it was not the first time I had seen them live. I was with four grown boys watching Alphabeat , I never thought I would be in this situation. Ever. "

A page from my current project sketchbook , it's about music and gigs etc etc. More on that later.

To summarise the last week or so and not in chronological order:

Completely screwed up my sleeping patterns ,stabbed myself with a scalpel multiple times, stayed up almost continuously for 3 days ,almost lost the plot typing 6500 on a typewriter, finished my dissertation without a hiccup , handed it in successfully , felt lost without it. Been to see the doctor twice , felt a bit shit , sat and watched one rom-com after another eating mashed potatoes with a grown man, went to an exhibition at my old secondary school , made awkward conversation with past teachers, reunited with an old friend, decided to cut some dairy from my diet (not cheese), had a totally tasty meal at Wahaca , had a little stroll around Winter Wonderland , wheatgrass ugh,hung out with friends where we had a serious conversation about Shania Twain , epic Thanksgiving dinner , r-eally good pumpkin pie ,hip flask of rum and Primrose Hill, Macaroon-Mondays , a little bit of christmas shopping , too many pairs of new shoes , spending way too much money than I really should , pop tarts , new found love for playing squash ,searching for my next holiday destination, winter is here.

standard.

2011-11-16T05:08:00.002Z

Dissertation has taken over my life.

I have had so much coffee that everything feels awfully dreamy , my attention span is next to nothing and I've forgotten how to speak properly.

Words and sentences are not forming , I end up singing to myself and singing the actions that I'm doing :

♪I am goooooing to make myself a cup of coffeeeeee♪

♪i hateeee my lifeee right noooooooooooooooow♪

and even

♫ohhhh my god I've just sliced my thumb with my scalpel and i'm bleeeeeding all over my freshly printed pages♫

Yessss...

Trust me. I have gone a bit mental.

I told you to be patient , I told you to be fine , I told you to be balanced , I told you to be kind

2011-10-27T04:03:00.002+01:00

I went to see Bon Iver on monday. It was mind blowing. I had goosebumps the whole time. Justin Vernon is just a complete genius (not to mention that I have a soft spot for scruffy beardy dudes).

I have been waiting forever to see them live , it was worth the wait. Believe the hype , they were that good.

1) funny how something as simple as a perfume can remind you of a thousand memories.

2) I think no matter how much someone denies the need to be in a relationship , I think everyone at some point hopes not to be alone anymore.

3) sometimes I just can't be bothered.

And standing brave on the balls of his feet , Declares this the greatest love of the century

2011-10-23T01:19:00.000+01:00

You won't catch me often making doodles on my laptop. Doodles are normally strictly in my sketchbook , but lately since I've been glued to my laptop due to this god-forsaken dissertation I've been working on , I find myself straying a little from time to time.

Procrastination drives you into doing weird things like making excess cups of tea , internet shopping , cleaning the bathroom , cleaning out my purse , rearranging the books on my shelf , hiding under tables , going to the gym... the list goes on.

I reason with my cigarette,And say your hair's on fire,you must have lost your wits...

2011-10-12T01:05:00.000+01:00

I am now the proud owner of this beautiful camera. I have wanted it forever , my Dad told me that out of all the polaroid cameras this is the one to put your money on.
It was a complete steal at only £60 down Portolbello Market , my pops is a master haggler.
Film is loaded , and I am ready to shoot.

+glad that I kinda have classes to go to these days.
+I have acquired my dream bike.
-my mum is paranoid and won't let me ride it.
-love being at Uni , but it feels like I get more done when I'm by myself with only tea for company.
-Blackberry services being down. It's quite inconvenient.
-/+ "waaaaaay" over protective friends.
-Melancholia , the stills are beautiful , but the movie itself is a bit..Umm...let's just say it's not that good. ( I actually escaped half way through due to headache from the shakey camera effect to have a miso soup in wagamamas)
+fro-yo dates

I'm afraid it looks like we're Gonna have to go our separate ways.

2011-10-04T18:31:00.002+01:00

Yesterday was the first day of Uni , and we at Central Saint Martins have moved into a shiney new building over at Kings Cross. I was initally quite skeptical about it all , not wanting to give up on the old one despite it falling apart , and seeing bits of ceiling on the floor occasionally.

Begrudgingly I have taken quite the liking to my home for the next year (and last year before the big wide world consumes me). So au revoir Southampton Row...& Bon jour Kings X!

And I can tell just what you want.You don't want to be alone

2011-09-25T23:37:00.002+01:00

Just stuff , no correlation whatsoever. (L-R)

1)Museum of Everything,have been twice this week.

2)Leon , my favourite fast food place , favourite lemonade , best sweet potato falafel wrap.

3)Accidental print onto newsprint. Thought it looked pretty neat , plus I like freaky toys.

4) Still can't get over my bargain backpack.

5)This crazy pendant I got in Amsterdam. Pretty "groovy".

6) Fatima's hand I found in an old suitcase.

7) (cut out from another sketchbook that got wet) My Acne wedges , have been wearing them a lot lately.

8) I have recently come into possession of some Chanel earrings.They are 'bananas'.

.
-feeling a little unhinged lately.
-We seem to be in a constant loop of emotional torture whenever I hang out too much with A.
+Study date the other day with Caspar! Surprisingly silent/productive since when we are together we can get a little crazy.
+Notting Hill , Primrose Hill , Queens park , this is home. Where I've grown up , and I will never be sick of.
-Having perhaps a little too much to drink and getting a little fired up.
+Knowing I can function perfectly well without ANY sleep.
-nothing worse then when you're speaking to someone , it feels like you're just annoying the crap out of them , and they don't really want to speak to you.
-being chased by doctors. ugh.
+midnight ice cream on the cool pavement , after a sweaty night shift.
-my sloth like tendencies these days.

And though I love you, and you know that,Well I no longer know what that's worth

2011-09-13T22:18:00.001+01:00

I really enjoy just drawing repetitive patterns, I would actually be fairly happy just sitting here and filling pages like this. But it's time consuming and pointless therefore I won't.

+napping
-When did I get so squishy inside? soft as butter, squidgy like marshmallow. ugggh.
+went to see Exhibition #4 from the Museum of Everything, at Selfridges. Fascinating and engaging as ever.
-poor understanding, and narrow minded reviews like this.
-money is being sapped out my account on account of lot's of dissertation books being brought.
+It was Mid-Autumn Festival yesterday! Which traditionally means nomming on some moon cake!
+being let off the hook for work. NO WORK, no sweaty waitressing! Yay!
+got another Copic fineliner today, despite costing £5.99, they are totally worth it. Best pens.Hands down.
+my little Acne leather coin purse, totally in love with it, so compact and little.
-haven't been to the cinema in ages, and all my friends like totally serious movies. No one to watch stupid rom-coms/chick-flicks with (sob).

Run run run, to make your heart shake,Kiss kiss kiss, will make this earth quake.

2011-09-12T01:17:00.001+01:00

I had an interesting weekend , a bunch of us went to Bedford to hang out with a friend. Which entailed a short car journey , eating a freakin' massive pizza,trying to work out all the jelly belly flavours, a few rounds of drinks,which culminated in an unlikely night spent in a club I would normally not be caught dead in (the drinks certainly helped). All in all , different , but different is good. Mix it up a little I say.

+highlight of the night,being called a "goth". I did joke before we left the house,that I was rocking the goth look a bit. Creepers (check!),black velvet bodycon skirt (check!),black sheer shirt (check!)

A lot of black, yes, but to be fair, my creepers were white (harharhar) ...

+just seeing everyone , it felt like so long! double thumbs up for good company.

+Ordered my CSS tickets. I CAN'T WAIT...love CSS , such a good band to dance to.

+now literally addicted to watching The Rachel Zoe project , she is hilarious. and brilliant in equal measures.

-my fingers have shrunk. My rings actually fell off my fingers today. Major sad face.

+white rabbit sweets are awesome

-actually considering starvation in order to get shoes I want. What have I become?!

ps/ thank you to Kate&Rob for picking us up , and driving us. I have the utmost respect for calm drivers ever since I started learning. I am the total opposite , total crazy petrol head.

pps/ also a mahusive thank you to Agostino for having us over! It was f-un , I am glad you took us seriously when we asked for a bedtime story , despite all of us not really paying much attention. We were also totally serious about being tucked in and kissed on the forehead (pushing it a bit...but hey! we tried?)

You hit me yesterday cause I made you cry,So before I die let me do something nice

2011-09-08T22:43:00.000+01:00

My Diana mini is the ultimate camera. Small , light weight , and takes beautiful pictures , using regular 35mm film. I take this camera everywhere I go , and am now even brave enough to not take a digital camera and rely on this little thing when on holiday.

I've had two , the first got smashed to bits in a bike riding accident , and my second , well , I'm in the process of trying to fix it (basically , it didn't wind the film properly , ripped the film , and got some stuck in the sprocket , and is currently jammed , ughhhh) , but hopefully I just need to take it apart and give it a clean. I cannot live without my Diana Mini!

+Dissertation is...Getting there , making it a bit more fun, mixing up a little and making a case study/research sketchbook (this page is from said book)
+addicted to watching How I met your mother... It is just so funny.
+this news story.
-cannot look at another cupcake
+making mix cd's.
+having not seen one of my friends in about 2 months , today he returned...looking a lot like Kurt Cobain .
+beards - I rate them
+Mr. Mark-Ronson-lookalike- I dig you.

This time baby I’ll be bulletproof.

2011-09-07T01:14:00.000+01:00

because I miss you like hell.

because you were my partner in crime.

because I miss talking about really random stuff with you over skype.

because you always told me I was too generous and that one day you would make me something in return.

because you were the glue that held our friendship group together.

because you were our vanilla bear.

because you are my best friend.

+keeping spirits high , and eating so much cake that I am literally going to explode.

+watching a marathon of scrubs to accompany the cake eating.

-forking out £53 to get my film processed.

+totally worth it though . (take a peek here)

-reading through some old skype convo's. Makes me a ickle bit sad.

-got caught up in the torrential downpour . ugh.

-waking up with a cut on my face and bruises on my arm. (sleep-self-harm?!?)

+Austin's super duper lemon loaf.

I miss the way the night comes,With friends who always make it feel good.

2011-09-03T13:30:00.005+01:00

I made a new Blog header and let me tell you, neatly hand drawing type is... Time consuming.

It is the end of the summer , and we say Hello! To September, I've had a pretty adventurous holiday, no hiccups so far *touch wood*. I'm glad.
An epic summer is just what I needed.

+I brought this bag in my local charity shop for only a fiver. Can I say bargain? Real leather , only a little damage on the woven bit , so I just stitched it up, et Voilà...Good as new!
-This heat , jeebus , I was getting ready for autumn , and pulling out the knits. Then it got r-eally hot.
+Hong Kong style lemon ice tea. Mmmm
+baking/practising. I am going to be able to make the best cupcakes ever. Soon. Hopefully.
-"having a relationship" means growing up , and being way too serious. Ughhhhh.
+Finally we have a Monki in LDN!
+had been putting off my dissertation for a bit , but I actually love to write , and now I'm into the swing of it , it's not so bad.
+pruning my parents' lavender bushes to make lavender bags for our drawers.
+the amount of reading I have to do for my dissertation. I love reading , self professed geek. I keep finding lots of new books. Sometimes I get a little too engrossed in my book , rather then doing the actual work. oops.
-My MacBook is throwing in the towel . (pleaaaase don't give up yet my trustee mac)
+Dads' coke floats.
-managing to walk into the door frame and bruising my hip. owee.

Tired out, not a miracle in days.Deciders for the lonely ,whispering tears.

2011-08-28T22:58:00.003+01:00

I had a wunderbar time in Berlin. I am itching to go back already! (I also had a pretty sweet time in Amsterdam , before boarding a 5 hour train ride to Germany) .
There is so much to do and see in Berlin , that one trip is not enough , I still have to go to the Ramones museum , the currywurst museum , plus a whole host of flea markets to trawl through again.
I feel like even with just 4 days , I was able to get to know the city well , and even found myself a favourite hang out. Berlin , I miss ya.

+/- I have a major case of Wanderlust. I want to go everywhere.
+ Going to try my best to squeeze another quick trip to Paris before I start Uni.
- scared to look at my bank statement. (har har har *nervous laughter*)
- I need these shoes in my life... If only they didn't cost like a bajillion pounds. I exaggerate. But still,
it's completely outta my reach at the moment.
- I also need these , but a little hard to afford for the moment. Some day...Some day...
+Working on some illustrations to transfer onto fabric , so I can make myself an awesome portfolio!
-Broken another Diana Mini arghhhhhhhhh.
+Forcing myself to make use of other cameras.
+My replacement Mark Ronson look-a-like-friend.
-Had a bit of a weepy moment last night.
+peppermint tea is just so good.It fixes everything (okay...well most things)

ps/ Congrats to the brother! Finishing his exams with straight A's. WOO!

After the Havoc that Im gonna to wreak,No more words will critics have to speak

2011-08-14T03:25:00.000+01:00

So after Glastonbury , we headed down to Totnes in Devon.

Being a city girl , I am so used to noise that I don't even really notice it , so it was an interesting change to be somewhere really tranquil , really clean & with lots of open spaces. I totally see the appeal. It was really lovely just to do nothing and be fed , with nice hot showers and clean sheets after a week of horrendous mud , smelly tents and icky toilets.

Caspar drove us to Dartington Gardens , where we picnic-ed , frolicked , climbed a tree ,snuck into a small house, picked flowers , got told off , basically became little kids again.

It was a lot of fun.

I picked up a pine cone and put it in my pocket. I didn't find it until I got back to London. It was a lovely reminder of our day at the gardens.

+Today I got my booked signed by Luke Pearson at Gosh comics!

+at the same time reminding myself why I love Soho so much.

-definitely need to work harder. I have achieved...Nothing.

+Having a tipple with Dad and listening to vinyls.

+my cat seemed really happy today , more playful than usual. That made me happy.

Front and back you're on my mind.Your name is in my ceiling

2011-08-11T00:56:00.003+01:00

One of the most memorable acts of Glastonbury was Lykke Li , she was so good and has such huge stage presence.

I managed to catch quite a few bands in between working funny hours. Didn't catch the headline acts, I went to see Queens of the Stone Age instead of Beyoncé , but I have to say... it was a toughy.

(I am back tracking on my summer adventures...because I've been lazy in updating.)

+this time next week I will be in Amsterdam . Hanging out with S! ...

+then after that to Berlin... Yaaaaaaaaah. funfunfun.

-I bloody hate shopping. STRESSFUL.

-These stupid riots. gosh there is no need , London felt apocalyptic. Shops closing early,streets empty.

I am a London girl through and through , born here , and always lived here.It made me so sad to see this sort of violence rippling through my city. Seeing peoples homes and businesses up in flames was shocking and surreal , as a firm believer in karma , those lousy greedy hooligans, whatever is coming your way...You definitely deserve it.

+communities coming together , people round my neighbourhood were doing mini patrols and updating each other on twitter .Also to know that everyone was so willing to throw their two cents in and help clean up was comforting to know.

+ blogs like this one.

-Forever 21. I don't know how I got dragged in there today...again. But the quality of clothes is really quite bad.

-/+I forever moan about Topshop , but at least the clothes last.

+S-teak night!

-packing. I am horrendous at it , I am an excessive packer.

+I am holding a marathon game of scrabble tomorrow night.

-I love the heat and sunshine , but at the same time it makes me forget how to dress properly

You should have asked me for it , I would have been brave.

2011-08-08T03:18:00.002+01:00

Whilst out and about in Glastonbury town , as well as making a few trips to Morrisons to read the newspaper , lying on the tiny strip of grass to nap beside the car park , drinking apple juice and eating babybel , I also accumulated a few bits of crystal from the hippy shops.

Have been reading a bit about astrology and horoscopes. I'm not sure I'm a massive believer but I'm open and it's all very interesting. Holiday boredom has reduced me to this.

+watching '10 Things I hate about you'. I luuurve this movie so much (&Heath Ledger..and Joseph Gordon-Levitt). It also reminds me of this one time a whole bunch of us sat on my friends bed in his tiny room in his halls watching it around his laptop.

+Bake-athon. Literally made every baked good under the sun.. I exaggerate but there were muffins , cupcakes , pies , scones & brownies...

-watching unhealthy amounts of tv.

+Just hanging out with Caspar & Dave (and others) , watching Submarine/eating pie/ice cream

-sleeping over and waking up to a rainy day..which meant running home in shorts and a t-shirt. I got a lotta weird looks

+FINALLY! getting started on some work.

+I got a major hair cut. It's super short now (for me anyhow) .

+My dad (like me) likes a good trawl through antique markets , and on his recent adventure down portobello market , he brought me a vintage Olympus Trip camera in brand new condition for £3. yay!

+bubble tea.

-the Forever 21 shop in London. The novelty is just not there , it was way more fun going to New York and paying f21 a visit , plus I wasn't that impressed with the clothes.

+reading manga and drinking iced coffee , reliving the early teen days.

+hatching my masterplan

-Almost blacking out the other day for no reason, couldn't focus on anything , everything was blurry and cold sweats. To say the least it was a bit scary.

+New Hello Kitty Vans.

Oh, I love this house, I love this house,Gives me the greatest peace I've ever known

2011-08-03T03:09:00.001+01:00

If anyone went to Glastonbury this year , and decided to leave the festival and get on a bus to Glastonbury town, more than likely you encountered me or my friend Dave , selling you one of these dubious £4 yellow bits of paper.

This allowed me to have a few hours here and there to explore the town itself. It's a huge hippy town , and I loved it , crystals and all.

I had a nice day today , I had a big dinner , went home , and fell asleep , but I've been woken up (argh at 3am) by a weird dream/flashback which I won't go into details. about but made me reflect a little bit.

Sometimes , when you think someone is your buddy , who you put ever effort into being a good & loyal friend to, who you would do anything to help , turn out to be the biggest disappointment ever.Remember Jasmine Lau : it's not worth the tears , the worry whether you've don'e something wrong , the achey heart or your sanity.

Even if they talk to their friends about the "problem" , and then have them blast you on your way to class about it , instead of coming straight to you to sort it out.

Losing a friend physically is darn hard , but losing a friend emotionally is equally hard.

Sometimes I think that perhaps it's a matter of forgiveness , but there's nothing to forgive. If someone cannot have the decency to make the effort to be your friend , or let tiny minute details get in the way of your friendship. They are not worth it.

If people are reading this and going "gawd you're such a bitch" , I just want to say this is a personal reminder to myself that perhaps some things you just have to let go of and are really not worth crying over. Like most things , at some point they will come to an end. Even friendships you thought would last forever.

Plus this is my blog, I do as I please.

Rant over.

A glass of water by her side And gone are hopes of getting tired.

2011-07-28T19:36:00.001+01:00

I am getting .GIF-happy.

Conquering my fear of photoshop , and forcing myself to learn how to use it. After all , it would be stupid of me to graduate with a degree in "Graphic Design" and be completely oblivious to all this.

Along side all this , trying to get to grips with html , and sorting out my website.

Boy do I hate staring at my screen all day long.

+I am due to run off to Amsterdam and Berlin in August. woo..My passport sure is getting a lot of use this summer.

-My dissertation proposal is willing me to start work.

-I feel total apathy towards doing 'real' work.

-/+ I have been bitten by the travel bug , and I just want to go lot's of places.

- Money will be running low so long as I keep gallivanting around Europe

+Taking lot's of shifts at the restaurant in order to keep the above dreams alive.

- procrastination (no need to explain...this one word alone is adequate)

+weather is perking up , finally! ..it was grim after being in Italy and returning to grey skies.

-the tragedy in Norway , it made me so sad. Norway/Oslo holds a dear place in my heart , and it's not just because "I visited the place".

+I got some lovely new headphones , beautiful lilac colour. I look like I'm wearing macaroons on my ears.

+Reading the book 'Submarine' , it's pretty entertaining so far. (Perhaps I shoulda read it before I watched the film)

+Remember how my friend (who shall remain nameless) fell asleep during the crucial part of this movie and woke up about 10 mins later looking SO confused. Makes me chuckle.

+MY ROOM IS FINALLY TIDY AGAIN. WIN WIN WIN.

Also... click here to see some holiday snaps.

Surrounded by familiar faces, the people that you love to see

2011-07-15T16:17:00.000+01:00

How hypocritical of me to make the last post and then for me to run off to Italy for a week.

I had an amazing time though , it was like a mini gap year , compressed into a wee week. We visited Florence , Padova , Venice and Bologna , and we took lot's of trains and baked in the insane heat.

Photos and drawings shall follow soon! ( I have seven rolls of film to develop...Talk about money draining hobbies... buuu)

+I am t-anned. Took off my watch and rings and I have some major white patches.

-allergic to the aftersun my friend decided to slap on my face , so my cheeks are constantly very pink at the moment.

+I can't wait to get all my photos back!

-I wish I was still on holiday

+ new headphones!

-I actually really really miss some of my Uni friends.

+I'm gonna go for a major haircut soon. Goodbye long locks , hello short hair.

+Having really bazaar dreams about pet racoons , and my friend Agostino kicking him... Woke up feeling really hostile towards him... but if I did have a pet racoon , and took him over to see Agostino...He would actually probably kick it.

If you'll be my bodyguard I can be your long lost pal

2011-07-04T23:32:00.000+01:00

I suppose I should explain myself.

I haven't updated in a while , this school year didn't end as I imagined , not good , but not bad either.

Just "meh".It got really really busy , but then just sort of ended. Just like that , but I guess that's just typical "csm stylee" , I should have just expected the abrupt and disorganised end.

Then I got work at Glastonbury really last minute , so literally,on the official last day of term , I dashed around , attended all the meetings there were to attend , went to all my tutorials , ran home , grabbed my bag and jumped on a train. I worked there until it ended , managed to basically catch most of the bands/acts I wanted to see , so I can't really complain too much , because I am also getting paid.

After Glastonbury ended , we went down to Totnes in Devon and had the most wonderful time(fresh bed sheets, good hot shower and proper grub). We stayed for a two nights with Caspar before returning to London.Which has now left me feeling more inclined to run away to the country , where everything is pretty , and quiet and scenic etc etc etc...

Glastonbury time , will always be a little weird , some of the time spent away , to an extent was done tactically so I can just ignore everything/the web/memories and keep myself busy. Considering what happened last year , perhaps it was a little selfish of me , but at the same time my sanity is quite important too...

Just to check in I guess , I am still alive , I will update soon , I will create something substantial at some point. I haven't forgotten about this place...

CSM BA Graphic Design Pop up shop

2011-06-04T15:39:00.000+01:00

Right dudes...more homework for you guys.

The rather talented peeps off my course are having a Pop up shop , selling handmade items , lovingly crafted ourselves. Running alongside it will also be an exhibition, showing print work from CSM , all in the name of the protests I was banging on about a while ago.

So please come along and buy a few things , have a look at the work and have a good time.

blog here : http://csmpopup.tumblr.com/

twitter here : http://twitter.com/#!/csmoffsight

All lies and jest, still a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest

2011-06-02T01:49:00.001+01:00

Because I'm such a freak , and weirdly obsessed with the past , I stocked up on a whole lotta polaroid film before they stopped production.I haven't used my film in a while , and figured if I don't use it now..when would I?So I'm starting to get a little snap happy again.

Our show is coming together nicely , spent a whole day today putting work up , cleaning up , and general errands. Boy am I tired..Yesterday was pretty intense , actually felt new emotions I was unaware existed (a little on the crabby side yet kinda of hyper/emotional) Cray-zy..

-Assessment may be over , but my list of things to do isn't getting any smaller.

-Assesment has made my body clock even weirder. I no longer have any concept of time.

+ our exhibition...It is going to be schweeeeeeet.

+Going back to my old secondary school to see the A-level art exhibition

+Having a chat with my old form tutor , and still he is totally understanding and encouraging.

-Heartache , there is no pain like it. I sound like a melodramatic twat , but it's true.

-Staying up for 24hours more than once a week really takes its toll. I don't actually think I can do it

anymore.

-crying for the first time ever because I was tired. Wow. Never happened before , such a wimp.Need to

suck it up.

+badge making.

+ice green tea.

-My friends band splitting up because of a girl.So disappointed/sad

+weather is perking up.

+Belle and Sebastian. Just awesome...too awesome for words.

+Bob Dylan playing , sipping tea , good book , balcony and the cool night breeze.

Don't try to think you know what I'm thinking.So give it up now, just give it up now.

2011-05-24T16:41:00.000+01:00

Wow I hate doing work. I don't think I've ever hated school so much. And I'm not too sure where this attitude has come from , because I'm usually one of those nerds who loves school so much that I turn up early for everything and can't get enough.
This is a slippery slope ha... also.. technically it's university, but I still like to call it school.

+booked my tickets to Italy for the summer. YEAH!
+looking at more flights
-looking at more flights and distracting me from work.
-all I can think about it going on holiday.
+listening to something you haven't heard in a long time.
+punk rock really really loud as you go running round the park.
-My Diana mini being smashed to smithereens
+Austin brought me preserved butterflies in a frame. SO BEAUTIFUL! literally can't get enough.
Keep staring at them.
+Matt. You are too awesome for words.
-Love. It's a complicated matter.

57 Protagonists

2011-05-20T11:13:00.002+01:00

errrr....Guess what?!... We're having an exhibition!

The name of the exhibition : 57 Protagonists

From the 2nd June , till the 11th June , second year illustration class of Central Saint Martins are putting on a show at the SW1 Gallery in Victoria!

So any London based folks , come and join us on the 2nd , private view is from 6pm-8pm.

Come , have a drink , eat a cupcake (Sponsored by Bea's of Bloomsbury) and have a quick boogie , look at some work and meet the some very talented people.

Work in progress blog here : http://57protagonists.blogspot.com/

twitter here: http://twitter.com/#!/57protagonists

Facebook group : http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=201041676597544

I don't have the patience To keep it on the up.

2011-05-19T00:07:00.000+01:00

Another two etchings I did last week. Fox and Owl , I think I will do a bear next, just need to find time. So much to do , I have an assessment next week. Panicking ever so slightly. No rest for the wicked I tell you!

+I love Weezer.

+cheese&crackers...Mmm

-mucho work to do.

+gonna buy myself some new headphones.

-I want the sun back dammit.

+Looking at flights. I just want to get out of here. Bring on Summer break.

And you dream of the birds that have flown away

2011-05-18T00:49:00.006+01:00

This project has given me endless grief. I just could not do it , actually made me want to just crawl under my table and stay there until the crit day was over.
We were given an opera , (Don Giovanni to be specific) and we had to apply our own story to it and illustrate it. BANE OF MY LIFE. not kidding. There are 6 images in total. I am technically done , but I think I will add more to it before assessment.

(I think my friends have done an excellent job in keeping my spirits high these past 3 days. Lot's of random (but appreciated) gifts , dinners , lunches , good company and maybe a little too much wine. )

-started working solidly on my project sunday morning, next thing I know , it was 7am the next morning. Forgot to go to bed , and had to be in Uni for 10am.
-/+ getting back home , napping for like an hour , before setting off for Noah and the Whale.

+ Being right at the front for the gig.

+Glad I wasn't alone , and the fact that some of the friends insisted they came along to this .There were moments in the show where I felt like I could have just burst into tears (what a sap I am) , but with the company of friends and some encouraging ruffling of the hair . I was okay.

+"First days of spring" is just the most beautiful song ever. And it's even more beautiful live.
-walking back to the flat , nearly tripping over myself from tiredness and literally babbling crap.
+luckily (i'm such a kid) Johnny had a carton of Ribena in his bag.
-feeling really achey the next day.

+tarts&vicars party...random , but nonetheless interesting.

+Bon Iver tickets going on sale for october. Finally..

+Norway day , celebrated in true style , not with people who I thought I would spend the day with. But thank you to Austin&Winston for the many bottles of Solo orangeade and the tiny Norwegian flags.

+For once , only having to be responsible for one part of dinner.

+Making THE best yorkshire pudding , I have ever made .Ever.

- Reminiscing . Makes me a little sad.
+Eurovision baby!
-secretly disappointed that Blue did not bring it back for the United Kingdom.

dont forget the nights when it all felt right,are you not the same as you used to be.

2011-05-10T21:08:00.003+01:00

So I got the chance to do some acid etching on monday. It was so exciting , had such a good day.

I do feel more enriched , I actually get really nervous about learning new skills , I always think I'm going to fuck up some how or learn that I'm not really good at things. Something I fear most is failure.

Anyhow , this is the Zinc plate.

Then we did a first print :

It's actually quite a long process before printing , lot's of steps to remember , and everything has to be just so. This main technique is called hard ground etching , then we applied some soft ground to add some tone to our plates.

Soft ground etching , basically picks up the texture of the paper , the darker rays coming from my epic wolf is done with the soft ground.

I am so chuffed with the outcome of these , I spent the day in the workshop working on my second etching. Will be inked tomorrow. WOO!

+learning new skills!

-work over load. So darn much to do. dammit.

+cake overload , cherry pie , blueberry muffins , cupcakes , walnut cake ...You name it , Jo's made it.

-kinda miss Battersea, the guys have their bachelor pad back , but I miss the dogs and the two fish.

+making iced green tea to have on the way to school.

+Sun&heat=lovely walks everywhere.

-holding a grudge, I don't like it , but I can't help it.

-having a little pathetic weep. gah.

+becoming way less dependant , I seem to spend endless amounts of time in school by myself these

days just doing work , and I'm fine about it.

+walking around Southwark , and eating chips by the river with Cas.

+Jo's pack lunches. nomnomnom.

I'd do anything to be at your side.I'd be anyone to be at your side.

2011-05-06T02:46:00.000+01:00

Have spent the last couple of weeks redoing a lot of projects , one of them is one called "journey" where we have to depict a narrative.I didn't put any of that work up , simply because I was so unhappy with it. Faced with a lot of free time and a newly found sense of motivation, finally creating something , that I don't hate,more pages to follow.
My project is about the journey back from Glastonbury. Bit of a sensitive area I guess I don't think I will ever be okay from what happened last summer , but as Winston Churchill said "if you're walking through hell , keep going" . You just gotta keep going.

+back to school!
-little bit behind with work.
+shopping trip/bubble tea with Agostino!
+going to Chipotle for dinner with Stephy , Casp & Dave..
+mega burrito..mega food coma after.
+ upcoming exhibition we are putting on!
+pub crawl around Camden.
+Johnny's jeans ripping near the crotch area...
-then tearing my jeans on the same night.
-having to look for new jeans...argh.
+getting my hands on a pair of LibertyXNike trainers. yeaaah!!

Wasting words on lowercases and capitals.

2011-05-01T03:03:00.001+01:00

I'm one of those girls who would probably spend more money on what's underneath my clothes than my actual clothes. I don't really know why, there's just something nice about having nice underwear , which my mum never understands. She's one for practicality , always says to me "why spend so much money on something no one will see? Who are you trying impress?" Truth be told , I'm not trying to impress anyone. I just like having pretty knickers.

+doing homework & actually getting somewhere with it.
+Nigel Slater's book "Toast" , it's so good , literally can't put it down.
-Kinder Egg toys. They're just so crap these days.
+psychotherapists are actually nice people , always thought they were creepy analytical people until I
met one recently.
+poached eggs for breakfast on the balcony whilst scribbling away on bits of paper , making notes
about my dissertation.
+buying a stack of commemorative newspapers.
-running out of nesquick banana milkshake powder when you craved it most.

Roll out the map and mark it with a pin,I will follow every direction

2011-04-30T03:26:00.001+01:00

yeaaaah.... I'm one of those. Watched the royal wedding with the utmost concentration today.
Though I didn't venture out to join the crowds , I'm kinda glad , because I'm a little hung over and my arms ache from heavy lifting/gaining man points.I had fun though , friends and I sat with my dad and watched it clutching our tea in various commemorative mugs and eating shortbread from my commemorative tin.
It's weird to see Westminster Abbey looking so important , we used to have our church services there , back when I was in secondary school... And we spent most of those services half falling asleep and not really realising the grandeur or significance of the place.

+royal wedding!! got a tad emotional. S.u.c.h a sap.
-logging into facebook and seeing people either bashing it or writing lewd comments about it.
kinda disrespectful , I mean not really my place to say anything , people are entitled to their on views
and opinions,but still ...Something not quite right about it.A degree of growing up might be advised.
-achey arms
+my new sweatshirt..It's the softest thing ever. I don't ever want to take it off.
+helping out an exhibition held by Duke Press at the KK outlet.
+pub hopping, getting crunk , getting married (I kid...but a few of us have wedding rings...so errr...)
-forgetting my coat
+having the best vegetarian meal cooked for you...THANK YOU BECCA! It was yum.
+stocking up on as much "so bad it's good" wedding memorabilia as you can. My dad brought me the
Oyster card ...(don't make fun of me.)

And those endless seasons.That go on and on.Incredible

2011-04-27T14:16:00.000+01:00

I love candy coloured hair , and dip dying. I just wish my hair was easier to dye. It took me three bleach sessions to get the one streak at the back of my head light enough to dye lavender.

Currently working on a zine about my favourite trends circulating. A little different from what I usually do (apart from illustrating bloggers). I can't wait to get it finished. I do feel though sometimes my interests sort of lean more towards that side of things , I guess it runs in my family? harharhar..

+The English Riviera by Metronomy ... SO GOOD!

+Being "brave" and taking initiative.

+getting a little more tech savy

+halloumi

Carrots help us see much better in the dark,Don't talk to girls; they'll break your heart.

2011-04-26T14:24:00.001+01:00

Went into a haberdashery in Gillingham and found the coolest Darth Vader & Mickey patch.
Then I picked up two more in Camden!..Going to sew them onto everything.

Since my friend José returned to London , I have been keeping him company in his flat in Primrose Hill , which is literally like a 3 minute walk to camden. I have been hit with a huge wave of nostalgia , because when I was 13 , I was constantly in Camden, spending my allowance on studs , band t-shirts & impractical footwear. Then all of a sudden , we stopped going out there , and I found myself constantly in East London. Funny how things turn out.

-I am a couple of friends short, went to the airport this mornin' to see them off. Airports are such sad

places.

-knew there was something up today , got a bbm from dear Agostino found out he's in London.

As soon as he's back , my precious sun goes away. *shakesfist* (I'm kidding!)

+ Jojo made the best french toast ever!

+filling my sketchbook. woo.

acres, visible horizon, right where it starts and ends, when did we start the end?

2011-04-25T20:01:00.002+01:00

Hair grips , I have literally about a million of these , and yet I can never find them when I need one.

I never really noticed that different grips have a slightly different shape. Most are the same though.

Don't you hate it when tv shows ruin your favourite songs? Was hanging out with my friend today , then heard Noah and the Whale playing faintly in his teenage brother's bedroom , we popped our heads round...And Aha!... SKINS..bloody Skins.

+summer breezes
+going tight-less , bare legs all the way!
+eating big bowls of salad on my friends porch
- warm weather and sweat means breakouts of eczema . owie.
-holidays are nearing an end.
-bank holidays , i always feel like there's an air of confusion , since you are unsure if things are open ,
you risk it , and some shops are closed , you don't risk & and you stay at home being bored.
+spring clean , and downsizing my wardrobe. No need for thaaat many clothes.
+/- found a plastic bag today on the tube with Nylon magazine & NME. I took it , but felt bad.
- this guy introducing himself to me as "awesome"
+realising actually he is pretty awesome/good lookin'/future friend.
+friend has promised to come round and give me a few more piercings this week.
+the thought of perhaps only ever standing by my mamma's right hand side , for the rest of my life to
prevent her going apeshit about the extra holes I keep putting into my ear. (lols)

I’m hoping with chance, you might take this dance.You’re my number one guy

2011-04-24T01:03:00.006+01:00

I know actually a lot of people are very annoyed with the the whole "royal wedding" shenanigans , and that they've "had enough" of Kate Middleton etc etc etc , but I for one am actually quite excited , I just love how all of a sudden , there's a more patriotic spirit , flags and bunting have been strung , and London looks...Well like it always should!

There have been a few minor changes to the blog , for an example , I've added a friends page on the left , and also a playlist page , so that I can share my favourite tunes of the moment.
Over the next few days , the domain will change too , and possibly the title of the blog. Blog address will become: Jazzlau.com (this is so that it's easier to put on my CV , instead of a long winded address) . I'm really rather excited. Lot's of changes , but hopefully for the best.

edit// blog address is not changing...just yet. Actually making myself a website. How exciting.

On my last night on earth, I won't look to the sky.Just breathe in the air and blink in the light

2011-04-23T01:09:00.009+01:00

I would not know where my life would be without this detangler.

I am actually learning new things , like image resizing , html coding , a leeettle bit of photoshop editing. I'm such a noob when it comes to all things to do with computers. I only really use my laptop to surf the net , blog..listen to music? Not very much as you can see.But with the help of my sidekick (harhar).. I am getting to grips with a little more than just the internet.

+visiting the pet shop a lot
-returning from the pet shop empty handed
+iced coffee
+sticking my hair up in the bun , and feeling the sun on my neck.
+Camden , I actually forgot how much I loved the place before I started staying around here.
+buying some punk rock patches to sew on my new tote bag
+visiting friend in Kent , and meeting her kitty cats.
+making up packages to send to various friends.
+twizzlers
+hot neighbour inviting my friends and I to hang out.
- hot neighbours sister scowling at us.
+the smell of summer nights.

If you want me.Let me know.Where do you wanna go

2011-04-20T01:59:00.001+01:00

Watching The Lost Boys the other night. Forgot actually how good it is.

I have been following my timetable loosely , getting some work done. (Work hard , play harder?) But I have to say , when the weather is nice , it becomes a huge distraction. Nothing makes me happier than grabbing some iced coffee and sitting in the park with a book.

Oh by the way! I'm going to have a giveaway soon..A whole bunch a goodies to give away. Books and artwork , tote bags. So yeah , keep your eyes peeled.

+sunshine!
+new pencil case!
+planning my ventures for the summer.
+making books
+screen printing in my friends living room & making a mess.
+writing to friends.
+surprising my friends.
♥hot neighbour who gives you his latest patisserie creation every time he bumps into you.
- lost rail card
+eating out
- eating out but realising you could be saving a whole lotta moolah if you dined in.
+my hair (I sound daft , but I have been getting about a million compliments about how long it is and how they like the blue/green streak)
+jelly..yum.

Meet me in the hallway bite your lip when I say, Never have you left my mind

2011-04-15T01:56:00.001+01:00

I remember when my dad used to take me to the Natural History museum to see the dinosaurs , and one of the most exciting part of museum trips as a child was also the Gift shop.

There was often a lot of umming and ahhing , do I have enough pocket money? Do I want a toy dinosaur? Do I want another useless novelty rubber? Oh the choices!

Usually in the end , with a little encouragement from the parentals , I would settle for a bit of stone or a rock. Usually a bit of amethyst or crystal. My dad would then follow up the purchase with a brief explanation of the stone/rock in the car journey home , explaining that it takes hundreds of years for it to form.

I still have my varied rock collection.

Let me shed some light on your dark,Help you see,How darling you've left your mark

2011-04-14T17:00:00.002+01:00

Have been a crap blogger recently , ho hum.

Busy enjoying the beautiful weather we had , barbecue here , barbecue there. Out and about trying to catch the rays.

visible illusion,where it starts it ends.Love like a sunset

2011-04-04T03:13:00.001+01:00

(Photograph taken by Caspar H in Rome!)
I was given this Kånken as a birthday present from a friend. I had my eye on one ever since i discovered them in a small clothes shop in Shoreditch.
I was SO happy when I opened up a box to find this cool blue backpack. They are so practical , so much easier with a backpack than a tote bag(don't get me wrong , still a big fan!) , it just makes life that much easier when you can hold a cup of coffee in one hand , and your book in the other and not have to worry that your bag will slip off your shoulder.
Multiple hand usage! woo! I am a fan of these , and I have my eye on a bright yellow one.I might have to buy it.Maybe.Probably.

Always and forevermore.We're together dead and lonely.I thought I couldn't do this without you

2011-04-01T02:18:00.003+01:00

(drawings from yonks ago of Walter Potters taxidermy animals at The Museum of Everything)

With a renewed sense of motivation , last night in my over crowded room , I started on three self initiated project. I can't wait to get them finished and show you all!
I just wanted to say what a wonderful two weeks I've had , literally has been day after day of fun. The weather hasn't let us down either , always helps to have a bit of sunshine!

So I'm going to reel off a list of Positive things...No negatives aha!

+ Noah and the Whale's new album!
+Going to lot's of exhibitions , Susan Hiller , Orozco , the watercolours exhibition , Hoppé & Ida Kar.
+Pick me up show at Somerset house , it literally made me want to go home and just draw all day every day
+Sun sun sun!
+Patrick Wolf at Koko with Dzayve .
+Brinner (Breakfast for dinner)
+Almost attended all my lessons apart from one....(ahem interactive design)
+ Just sitting in my favourite little coffee shop , watching the waiter who looks like a pirate.
+Skipping that one class to get breakfast...Mmmm poached eggs!
+The prospects of living alone next year.I like my own company.
+Reading..I've been doing loads! My new years resolution was to get through at least one book a month , this month I've read 5.
+ learning to be a "free spirit"
+Tea time with dear old Cas.
+Being able to show a childhood friend of mine around my favourite haunts.
+Friends returning from abroad for easter break.
+Planning the most epic summer imaginable.
+ Barbecue!! I like cooking corn on a cob..
+Insane amounts of skype sessions with my two favourite boys.
+Feeling a lot more grounded after my brief visit back to school.
+Being super "on it" with everything , timetable has been written , time has been allocated for each project that needs working on this break.Lot's of big plans.
+That feeling when you're just past caring.
+Watching Bollywood movies whilst eating bombay mix , and drinking Cobra beer.
+The new colour copier in the Library at uni.
+Armed with a guitar & a bottle of wine, climbing up Primrose hill in the dead of night , and listening to Jo play the most beautiful cover of Rome by Phoenix
+Just being able to climb into bed with your buddies and take a good nap.

Good lord it was a beautiful day For untangling, unraveling my heavy heart away.

2011-03-30T22:23:00.003+01:00

People who don't know me may think I'm some sort of religious nut , if they look at my doodles at the moment. I had to literally stop myself from buying too much religious relics. I could have gone mental ! But I have self control and only picked up a small selection. I have definitely been influenced by all the churches we visited.

Today I randomly stumbled pass my old Secondary school , and managed a quick (and a little bit awkward) hello to some teachers of mine. And it reminded me why I'm at art school and what I'm trying to prove. Sounds stupid and a bit bitchy , but ever since I left school , I was kind of trying to distance myself from the place. Not that I didn't have a good time , there were some , but (like a lot of people) it took me a good amount of time to realise what I was actually good at, and on my part most of my time at school was spent feeling majorly left out and really awkward.

I always felt like I didn't quite fit in (cliche I know... but hey ho!)

It was not until my final term in sixth form , when I really got to grips with my work and suddenly grew the confidence to just power ahead and do what I wanted. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I had a place at CSM and Kingston too , but it was a good turning point in terms of my art work.

It was good to see a few familiar faces , and the school itself is still pretty much the same , apart from the precious art room is no longer , having been relocated to the lower school site, in a new block.

Sometimes I can't believe it has been almost 3 years since I left , doesn't actually feel that long.

Ps/I apologise for this word lengthy post!

So many influential fingers running through your hair

2011-03-29T01:20:00.000+01:00

The state of my sketchbook at the moment.

We are in the midst of a project called "Don Giovanni" , we have to use the structure of the opera and apply it to our own story.Mine is about a Kleptomania , who steals petticoats off washing lines , he kills a maid who tries to stop him. My tutor did say it was still too nice , and I have to harness the inner evils in me to make it more dark. Ho hum...Not sure that's quite possible.

The story will be set in victorian England , and probably done in ink. I have really come to love using inks.

When in Rome

2011-03-25T23:42:00.000Z

I took some black&white film with me to Rome too. I really do love using film , you never really know what to expect , sometimes you can take some really awful pictures , but sometimes they turn out to be real gems.
I keep a photo blog here! My holiday pics go up on there normally , so I don't have to spam this blog endlessly of photographs. So for my snaps (more to come) check it out!

We're the coolest kids and we take what we can get

2011-03-24T10:35:00.005Z

Highlights of Rome:

literally getting drunk every night because wine was so cheap.
being able to spend some quality time with the friends.
visiting lot's of churches , every single one of them, be it big or small,they were just beautiful.
Food. Enough said.

ps/ the weather is so nice! I want to have a barbecue , haha.. Hmm thinking much too ahead of myself. It is barely spring.

Dissolve the nerves that have just begun.

2011-03-23T00:03:00.001Z

Sorry for the absence. Just popped over to Rome for a week.

Right , first things first. My blog has been lacking ever so slightly of work , partly because I've been lazy , and partly because haven't don't much. (yikes) .Trip to Rome kinda came at a bad time since it disrupted a lot stuff like classes , but nonetheless it was the best trip ever!

Quick summary of stuff , and hopefully I will resume normal posting soon.

+ Rome was awesome

- a little bit more skint now that I've returned.

+ trip made me a bit more focused , gave me a few things to think about.

+new friends!!

+I had a really really good productive day , despite bunking half a day of lessons.

+weather has been lovely! Sat on my friends balcony doing a bit of work, drinking some lemonade.

- too much work to catch up on.

+I think I'm in for a few fun packed weeks ahead , even if I can see loads of all nighters ahead.

How far the anger in someone can really make them go

2011-03-07T03:31:00.000Z

Emails that make me cry..Don't happen that often.

I have really neglected my blog.
sorry!...But a combination of having the flu and trying to finish uni projects and also sad news threw me off kilter . Too much to think about.
But hopefully , some normal posting shall resume soon. Woo!

And we're caught up in the crossfire.A heaven and hell.

2011-02-22T19:49:00.003Z

In Progress.
We had a sit in today. We took over the Foyer at Central Saint Martins Southampton Row building and literally turning it into a print studio. We were screen printing/mono printing , being creative and making a mess in protest of the relocation of our print/binding/etching facilities.
It's crazy to think that the school still thinks after they move it to Byam Shaw that we will still feel encouraged to use it.Yes we understand that Byam Shaw is part of CSM , but we are two very different places. With the buildings being kind of far from each other , it's not going to be easy having to do the print somwhere else , hopping on a train and running back to class. The issue with "time" is kinda a big deal.
The dean of the course came to see us , it was quite encouraging. We sat in the foyer whilst people fired about a million questions at him.

We had lot's of people turn up a various times , making sure our corner was constantly buzzing , first years sat around patiently all day , and even a third year , who is the screen printing master came to lend a hand. He printed this awesome manifesto about hand crafts. (more of his work here)
All in all a successful day. Let's just hope we can eventually make a change.

edit*

Apparently after we left this evening , our work was torn down.

Right. CSM. this is war. We are not going down without a fight. We will retaliate.

edit**

Also , I have been on a sort of twitter-offense , attacking people in the industry about our petition . and one place that a lot of us have tried with was the Creative Review. But they have been ignoring us , and instead retweeted CSM's bullshit blog post : http://blogs.csm.arts.ac.uk/snapshot/2011/02/22/csm-print-workshops/

How can CSM have the nerve to tweet this? In fact how can CR post this? The students are the only thing CSM have left apart from their dwindling reputation. Don't dig yourselves a grave...

edit**

Got a reply from Creative Review. Apparently they did tweet about the petition and said that CSM are entitled to a say. true. but CSM's reasoning is a bit weak.

I saw the mirror starin’ back at me and it told me I’m a self machine

2011-02-20T03:39:00.001Z

Mono prints in aid of the up coming protests.

Some people have such a bad attitude , it's pathetic. You know as well as I , that we ALL have about a hundred million things to do. You can't leave it to just a few people to try and make a change. So I commend those who have got stuck into this mammoth of a mission , even if they are busy.

+ having dinner with friends
+Valentine's spent with friends , eating too much/laughing too much.
-Winston&Austin have run off to NY. Jealous.
+Watching your friend run merrily down Brick Lane at about 3 in the morning in a Sonic Costume.
-hangovers
+making oreo cheese cake.
-buses. They are kinda unreliable...as is the Underground on a weekend.
+getting stuff done

Check out our CSM tumblr to see our progress :http://csmprintprotest.tumblr.com/

Seriously..

2011-02-18T02:51:00.001Z

I have always backed my University. A lot of people say a lot of bad things about it.

Calling us pretentious is not uncommon , but every single time I hear people say things like that I always defend Central Saint Martins. I am fond of the place , I've had a good time and met some amazing people .But what is happening right now at CSM , is a load of bollocks.

We have hardly any facilities left , and when we make the move to our new building to Kings Cross , we will not be taking our printing facilities with us. Instead they are replacing screen printing and etching with computer suites and desks.They are digitalising our course. My course is Graphic Design , I'm not really sure how it's going to call itself a graphic design course and not have these facilities.

Completely illogical. Perhaps I am biast since I'm not to keen on digital work , but it still doesn't make sense. CSM are falsely advertising these facilities , and many students applying/applied for the coming year have been duped into thinking they will be offered all these things , but when we go to the new building , Graphic Design will not have anything. It is such a shame that they believe this is the way forward and they are clearly not clued up on how much people want to use these things. Though they are moving the department to Byam Shaw , it will not benefit us , and access to it will be very difficult.
At CSM , we pride ourselves in the fact that we still have a lot of traditional mediums , letter press etching , screen printing etc etc. And to take away our printing..Well they are digging themselves a grave. The University is not as vibrant as it used to be , and we are ,in reality just relying on our name and reputation for churning out lot's of successful designers and artists , and if they go full steam ahead with the plans then I think that it will lose even more of it's credibility. The fact that most people are not even happy with the move to Kings Cross in the first place , and then to not give us what we need. It is not a good move on the part of the University.

Screen printing is an integral part of our practice and study and it's a massive shame that they don't want to keep this traditional practice alive.

Us students have decided to take matters into our own hands. We are determined to get our voices heard.

So those who have ever thought about applying to Central Saint Martins , this will affect you.
Illustrators and designers please give us your support.
Please give a few seconds of your time and sign the petition:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/csm-to-lose-print-workshops-to-byam-shaw/

Now the storm is on its way ,Coming here to break the day.

2011-02-11T02:45:00.002Z

I think everyone should go and watch some Wes Anderson movies. So good , with it's subtle humour. and colourful scenes.

Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (illustrated) is such a good movie , and so is The Darjeeling Limited , Rushmore & The Royal Tenenbaums. To think of it , that's almost all the movies Wes Anderson ever directed or wrote. Oh and not forgetting Fantastic Mr fox , a brilliant piece of stop motion animation.

His films are witty with lots of lovely picturesque cinematography , he has a way with depicting awkward characters and awkward situations but in a very light hearted and relatable way.

Not to mention that every single movie has an excellent soundtrack! I definitely recommend them!

(click the films for trailers)

+my tutorial went swimmingly. I got a really good mark! HUGE sigh of relief.

- rain. I hate it.

+started making little packed lunches to save money.

-i have a ganglion in my right palm , you can't see it but it's started to ache a bit.

+feeling super motivated these days for no apparent reason.

+ dad gave me £300 to pay for my Rome trip in coins.

+annoying the lady in my bank with my large amount of coinage.

-has become a neurotic list maker

+really good carbonara cooked by marcus. yum.

-going somewhere today and realising that I was at the wrong place/wrong time.

+cashmere socks

I'd scare off those demons And dry up your eyes

2011-02-08T00:01:00.002Z

My 'master plan" , isn't all that exciting.I think I hyped it up too much. But sure was it fun for me. I gave Flyposting a go the other night around East London. I rehashed the poster , made it a tad smaller , photocopied it ,made myself some wallpaper paste and went around putting them up. It's quite a task in the cold , it can get messy too...

Though when I returned this morning , many were missing?... Maybe it's my technique , haven't quite got it. But I've got some other posters planned.It's really fun ,this was just a practice run. My next move on our city walls will definitely be bigger.
Some may call it art , others may say it's vandalism , but that's a whole other debate for another time.

Not a huge fan of the likes of Banksy , but last year , when a friend suggested we go catch his film , I was slightly adamant about it , but was pleasantly surprised and also strangely inspired by guerilla art.

So this is a tiny salute to you AVD!

-it's freakin' cold
-I have a tutorial on wednesday. I am so scared.
+Brought some nice new clothes..
-Should really be saving
+American Apparel are celebrating CSM students , 30% off AA stuff on thursday
-this will be bad for my wallet , as 30% off AA stuff ,makes it affordable.
-this event is um..slightly pretentious .
+had a savoury pancake today. It was massive. I couldn't finish it..but it was only £5.
+my mum called me a "vandal" , my dad corrected her and said I am an "artist"

But if you give a little love, you can get a little love of your own

2011-02-07T04:35:00.001Z

I like reading blogs , they give me tonnes of inspiration.

Two of my favourites , Save our Shoes and Diamond Canopy.

I like them so much...I went and tried to draw them.

{hello to Fi & Winnie! ♥)

+phase two of my top secret plan has been completed.phase 3 in the morning. woo

-I got wallpaper paste on e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g

+ Dave my life coach.

+ Dave the life coach made a delish dinner & cookies.

+I'm doing about a million things but I'm on top of it (for once)

-I've forgotten how to use Indesign (head-desk)

-/+ my friend Johnny said I've become a wise old owl. (don't really like the "old" bit)

Wondering if any of the colors.Matched any of the names we knew on the tags

2011-02-06T17:16:00.001Z

Nothing but listening to vinyls and eating pancakes.

Complete lazy arse..literally.

Parents dragged me to do some Chinese food shopping...Mmm Asian snack foods!

ps/ following my last blog post , I was in uni. And I ended up sitting behind a pillar in the canteen, really close to Mr.Beardy.Positioning myself so I could get a good look but not seeming obvious.. I am a freak/stalker , probably need to get a life..ha

+phase 1 of my master plan has been completed.

+start on phase 2 tonight!(after phase 3, all will be revealed,so funny, it's like a secret mission)

-being called a midget despite wearing my 2inch Creepers.

+pancakes

-cold&windy

+have had some of the most awesome belated birthday presents

-woke up with a huge cut in my ear?!

Always in time, but never in line for dreams

2011-02-04T03:38:00.006Z

Most of my friends know I'm obsessed with that bearded guy from the FCUK ad campagne from last year. A lot of friends don't understand it either , saying things like "ohhh but he looks like a tramp".

Well.. he is certainly very manly , and hairy , but you know that despite all the beard/hair , there's a handsome guy underneath there. Despite the "tramp" look , he is still good looking and pulls it off well.And today! Walking past FCUK , I noticed the new face of the campagne...

w a s n o t i m p r e s s e d.

That is all.

ps/ there's this guy at uni , who looks just like this bearded fellow. And every time I see him , i just seem to gawk at him. bad times. He notices me staring.

+WEEKEND!

- beardy man no longer the face of fcuk

+Karma , I am a firm believer

-always freakin' hungry

+ helping friends redecorate

+ macaroons from Ladurée in exchange

+ being spoilt.

I've been out walking,I don't do too much talking

2011-02-03T11:44:00.001Z

...Yes it is... A2 sized poster I drew for our poster project last week. I have big plans with this bad boy.

Oh by the way...Happy Chinese new year ! Should have drawn a rabbit or something.

+Black Swan was intense to say the least. Really good movie.

+Wes Anderson is genius.

-feeling like I should be doing something?

+Chinese new year!

+spring clean/new bed sheets

-I need sunshine

+ Dad & I acting like goons , whilst mum shakes her head at us.

Steady walking but bound to trip.Should release but just tighten my grip

2011-01-29T00:41:00.000Z

One of 3 posters , about My Grandma's Alzheimers.

This is a reworked/shrunken version of the original.

- assessment is on monday. argh.
+i'm being super organised , with my tick lists
- all this work is only down to the fact I really slacked last term.
+listening to punk rock really loud
- working late into the night means I get hungry a lot.Dang.

Instant battle plans written on the sidewalk

2011-01-26T23:02:00.001Z

I was left handed up until I was about 6 years old. When my teacher , who was extremely religious , made me learn to write all over again stating "only devil children use their left hand"
I never really lost the strength in my left hand , though it's still quite messy , I can write extremely quickly , and joined up too.
Anyhow , a friend brought me the coolest little ceramic hand ever for my birthday. I wear it on a chain around my neck , and I find a lot of people staring at it. I'm really in love with it.

- I've been awake for a little more than 48 hours
+I can feel no emotion/wariness due to lack of sleep
- If you discharge yourself from hospital , they will hunt you down.
+Staring at my new goldfishes in their new bowl

You can't get a grip if there's nothing to hold

2011-01-25T17:10:00.000Z

a little bit of a poster I made a while back , about my grandma's Alzheimer's.

It was a3 size , but I'm currently in the process of redoing them , down sizing too.

-need new ipod

+pizza & film night

-cracked fish bowl

-rehashing three projects is..not fun to say the least

That's a frosty way to speak. To tell me how to live next to your potpourri

2011-01-24T14:19:00.000Z

note/just in case anyone gets the "wrong idea" , this is a fictional character. Not based on anyone . I just happen to like drawing people wearing hoodies and jeans.

But if you're into that self deprecating stuff , and want to believe it's about you , then please , have a field day.

+going to Rome in the spring

-my hand is numb can't grip pen properly

+mac&cheese

-feel like a zombie

+going to screen print this wolf boy onto tote bags

-deadlines looming

+ new pet goldfishes

Put down your sword and crown.Come lay with me on the ground

2011-01-23T17:41:00.001Z

"It's unnatural for animals to be wearing clothes , but also unnatural for you to be sat behind a screen every single day"

positives and negatives

+ i'm getting some form of work done

- i'm not sleeping

+ honesty is the best policy

- people don't like the truth

+thinking about getting my own flat

-hospitals are the most horrible places ever

And all the flowers in the earth Could never take you from my heart

2011-01-12T01:23:00.002Z

A few nights ago , I had a dream about being lost in Norway with my friends.It was ever so slightly strange , we were all looking for something , but we couldn't find it.Woke up feeling a little strange too.But..To be fair , when we were in Oslo , there was a moment where we thought we were stranded

(click here for photographic evidence) , we sat on a tiny bit of grass and snacked on some brunch bars and tried to reassure ourselves that we had not been forgotten.

Every aching wound will cauterize and bruise

2011-01-09T06:40:00.001Z

I'm not going to lie. I really like vintage baby dolls.

Freaks most people out , but I think there's something endearing about them.Found this one (arms sadly broken) near a bin , with some other bits and pieces like an old suitcase and a lampshade. Just took the tiny baby home (and of course his arms).

I’m on fire and now I think I'm ready to bust a move

2011-01-08T04:21:00.001Z

My dad never really throws anything away , he always says things like "You never know when you'll need something" and he's generally right.

He showed me this yesterday .Geek aged 7 , I wrote about seeing the batman movie for my homework.

As you can see , not great at spelling.

Let this be our little secrets,no one needs to know we're feeling

2011-01-07T02:55:00.002Z

Another christmas , another new years and another Birthday.

Every year I get gifted with Moleskines because as a "creative person" , apparently they're indispensable and I'll "always need them". Not that I'm complaining really.

Now that I'm 21 , I don't feel any different or any wiser. Perhaps just a little more aware that I haven't accomplished much in the 21 years I've now been alive for.

Motivation to do something great in 2011.

The bittersweet between my teeth.Trying to find the in-betweens.

2011-01-03T03:23:00.000Z

Mistletoe & Wine

2010-12-25T13:35:00.002Z

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Hope it's a fun filled day with plenty of food and laughter.

May all your troubles soon be gone.Oh Christmas lights keep shining on

2010-12-17T04:05:00.001Z

( I am not a fan of Coldplay , but I like the idea of someone else blagging the Christmas no. 1 spot for once other than the friggin' X factor winner...I have to say , when I first heard "Christmas lights" on the radio , it gave me goose pimples.)

Another Christmas card! ... I am in full Christmas frenzy. We did two shopping trips and still...I am not done. Third time lucky?Found a few things in Liberty , did a bit of shopping in Marc Jacobs.I think Christmas turns people into materialistic fiends (I put my hands up..Me included)

I hate shopping , and I hate shopping even more during this festive season. But I have to say I really love wrapping presents. Wrapping paper , ribbons and tags make me quite happy after the mad rush/panic in the shops/Oxford street/Public transport/crazy journey home. Oh , and maybe some hot Ribena too.

Cause I've started falling apart I'm not savouring life

2010-12-15T02:13:00.002Z

I've spent the last couple of days making christmas cards for my nearest and dearest.

Wrapping presents ,writing lists of things to do before the 25th rolls around.

When december comes to an end , it always makes me reflect on the year.

I don't think I have ever laughed so hard , or cried this much in a such a short period of time.

1 year. That's all it was. And it seems like forever , so much has happened. Hard to believe really..

I'm going to to learn how to throw punches

2010-12-09T00:00:00.000Z

On sunday we celebrated christmas , then I did some "boxing day shopping" on monday. So technically friday is New Years. We're fast forwarding the festivities.

The most wonderful time of the year

2010-12-07T22:48:00.002Z

Christmas with the (other) family ♥

Life goes by on a Talihina sky

2010-12-07T02:14:00.000Z

Three things that make me really happy.

1) slightly creepy dolls

2) Vintage cameras of all sorts

3) Old photographs

Through the years we all will be together,If the fates allow.

2010-12-06T19:53:00.000Z

Last night we had a christmas dinner. And it was just so lovely.

It was just nice to have everyone together but at the same time , I had to keep telling myself to be grateful that everyone is here , and everyone is happy , because at the back of my mind , I kept thinking about how you should be here with us.

Last year , I promised you to make you a massive christmas dinner and you said how you had never eaten chocolate truffles before.

Last night , we had truffles and Kate made the best dinner.

It all got on top of me , and I wasn't brave. I couldn't power through and I let myself get all sentimental.

I know that there is nothing that we can do , what has happened has happened , but it's times like these that really make me think about how differently things could have been.

Despite my tears and tantrums , still it was a wonderful evening filled with turkey and mulled wine.

I caught a glimpse, but its been forgotten

2010-11-29T10:12:00.000Z

Slow on the uptake of things , I lost my chance to purchase a pair of these Acne Atacoma wedge shoes.

I really like them. Esepcially the ones with the silver trim.

I saw a girl wearing them on the bus yesterday...Total shoe envy.

Don't I know you better than the rest ?

2010-11-29T02:53:00.000Z

Back track a little. I went to see Beach House last week.

It was so good. Made me so sad though and it reminded me how much I miss my friend.

Their music is so dreamy , I was inspired by their song "Zebra" ..to draw one.

Also I just really like drawing animals.

You won't go wrong.This is our family Jewel.

2010-11-27T02:55:00.000Z

As soon as Uni was over today , I hopped over to the new Elizabeth Lau pop up store , just off of Carnaby street to pay my cousin a visit!

We had tea and ate macaroons , and her store is so so pretty!

She said that she only got the keys on wednesday , and so it was quite rushed but everything worked out fine , as you can see from the pictures , the shop is pretty much perfect.

I even managed to have a brief encounter with Kit from Style Slicker!

Apparently , they're going to have a fish in the shop soon. So I say , if you're around , definitely pay Elizabeth a visit!

(The Lau clan seem to be doing rather well in the creative business.

Power to the Lau's?! .. I just need one tenth of everyone success and I'll be happy..haha..)

Anyhow , the shop in on 2 Ganton street , until the 24th december..Go!Go!Go!

Oh, you betrayed me, you gave it away.

2010-11-16T02:04:00.003Z

A little while ago , we were given a short brief called objects of undesire. We basically had to illustrate 4 things that we hate/get annoyed at etc etc.
So here we go...

"vanity to the point where it interferes with life"

Of course your image is important , and you have to present yourself well.

What's wrong is when people take about 5 hours to get ready and get out the house.

Vanity to the point when it's shallow , and the person is just all face but no substance.

"non conformists who are just the same as others"

People who claim to be "different" or "individual" who are in fact just the same as the other people who claim they are "different" and "individual". In this case , "goths" are the best example.

They all claim to feel this anguish and alienation that no one else feels.

But hello? your friends all say the same thing! .."i'm so misunderstood.I'm such a rebel"

..to be honest not misunderstood or a rebel since you just decided to act like that because your friends all say and act the same way.

Baaaah...sheep?

"label mania"

People so caught up with labels that they refuse to wear anything unbranded.

People who would rather starve than not get that designer handbag. Don't get me wrong , I do like some Vivienne Westwood things from time to time , or some Marc Jacobs perfume. But I could live without , it's not the end of the world if I didn't get that purse.

In a way , it's more about people trying to sustain a lifestyle that they really can't afford all in the name of showing off.

"bros before hoes"

Excuse the vulgar language but , when your friends meet the other half and are no longer your friends (put bluntly) because they're so caught up in their relationship.

Constant messaging/phoning , forgetting and neglecting the people who will always be there.

And I'm not saying that the relationship won't last , but in the worst case scenario when things turn sour , it's the friends who are their to listen and pick up the pieces

But meanwhile whilst they're all loved up , you are no longer a priority , or in the picture at all.

Don't get me wrong , it's nice to know that your friends are happy but there should be a balance.

(How's that for an illustrated rant?..Maybe these should be a monthly occurrence)

you've reached it you've found your grace

2010-11-14T23:37:00.003Z

Friday night. We went to see Foals.

Sounds obsessive..But i've actually seen them 5 times now and they never disappoint.

They're electric live. Fought my way to the front and got bruised. I forgot I bruise easily and now I am in pain when I laugh..or breathe. Nonetheless..AH-MAZING.

I'm so temperamental these days. And I apologise for that , but I have to credit my friends for just being there and putting up with my mega mood swings.I can't lie.. I have great friends (despite my stupid rant the other night about being alone) . I am infact never alone. Because these lot are always there.(Plus..Going to such a good uni , there are always people ten times more talented than you)

So let me introduce:

Agostino,who I've mentioned quite a bit before. He's got some wise words , great actor (ahem) and graphic designer. The funny man , always completely honest which I admire him for.

Kate , I don't even know where to begin. Mega talented , great cook . great designer.

She was a pillar of strength , when we were going through tough times , keeping us fed and together, organising various things. Without her , I can pretty much say we could be pretty lost. I couldn't thank her enough.

and

Dave, super talented illustrator.His work is amazing , and I am constantly surprised by his project outcomes because they're always always spot on. Fellow night owl and geek. This guy has a fantastic imagination ,I always love listening to his "what if "scenario stories , he's definitely one of the wittiest people I know.

This post is long , but please check out their blogs.

They are all amazing people , definitely people to watch out for in the future in the creative industry.

We fly balloons on this fuel called love

2010-11-11T19:00:00.002Z

Moving image brief , decided not to go with the hand drawn animation after all. Too time consuming.
I got a bit carried away wallowing in my own sorrow , got completely sidetracked , leading me to flit from idea to idea and not have anything solid. Which also meant , I didn't have too much time.

So here it is :

Quite proud , I did this all by myself.
And todays presentation didn't go half bad either.
Still...Glad it's over. and I can nap.

Would you always Maybe sometimes Make it easy?

2010-11-08T02:05:00.002Z

There is hope.

Anyhow.Very very quick stop motion animation. Literally done in about half an hour (taking pictures and animating)

I'm starting to get the hang of this moving image stuff and very slowly combating my fear or technology and software. Just takes a bit of patience really.

I've had a rather sweet weekend , despite being ill.

so todays conversation went :

"i'm ill , I'm ill!"

"okay , let's turn of all the lights off and light some candles!"

"wait..hold on how the hell is that going to make me feel better?"

"create an ambiance , so you can relax , rest sleep?"

"whaaat?! i have so much work to do..and you want me to sleep?!..this is just a silly excuse to use all the candles you splurged on ? right? trying to justify spending that amount of money on candles?????"

"um.yeah."

Cried all night till there was nothing more,what use am I as a heap on the floor?

2010-11-06T19:36:00.003Z

Photography project.

I used all the things I had collected and brought in New York , found leaflets , metrocards , tickets etc etc combined them with the photographs I had taken and put together this book.

I printed them onto bits of old paper and envelopes. Then clipped them together.

The aesthetic is very scrappy , almost something worthless , but when you begin to flick through it , you find little gems and actually , it's quite nice to leaf through.

note to self: Pull yourself together.

Vanilla strawberry knickerbocker glory I saw the ghost of Lena Zavaroni

2010-10-27T23:43:00.002+01:00

Birds drawn in aid of my moving image brief. Somehow they wil be magically animated.

Other news today.

I had a little run in with the Police on Oxford Street. (hohoho)

A car ran a red light and tried to run me over in her massive Mercedes. So I stood in the road and hit her bonnet.

Got called a hooligan..Indeed. I seem to be..

this man said "It's gruesome that someone so handsome should care"

2010-10-18T18:26:00.006+01:00

I'm quite a big fan of Alexa Chung.

(Elle courtesy of Kate , thanks for letting me steal your mag)

For death, I do not forsake thee ,Though your dark stare is always upon me.

2010-10-16T07:15:00.000+01:00

I seem to be taking things to the extreme these days.

When I've had too much to drink my language becomes atrocious. I don't really enjoy being mean or vulgar , but in that state what I say is the most honest I'll be. I tend not to hold back. But hey..The truth hurts.

I've been trying to fill the void , but in any case I've essentially swapped one bad habit for another.

At about 4/5am this morning , I managed to demolish a whole bacon and sausage bagel. A first for me.

Now I feel ill. No more food for a little while methinks.

Also..I really want a pug.

I'm having trouble making sentences.I'm older but I don't feel any smarter

2010-10-12T00:41:00.000+01:00

I'm being so shit with my work at the moment. I have completed two small projects , handed them in and completely forgotten to make a record of them for my blog.

My mind is clearly elsewhere.

Red bull failed me today.

So don't go away.You were the only one.You were the greatest one day

2010-10-07T19:53:00.002+01:00

I have a lot of lip products.

I was watching Season 2 of Glee with some friends the other night. Latest episode had me in tears.

So much for something light hearted...I think it's time to pull out the Zoolander..

I keep hoping that you're on your way over but I'm probably losing sight

2010-10-02T18:51:00.002+01:00

It's just sort of hard starting the academic year and you not being around.

Seeing your name still on the register at enrolment.

Talking to someone last night , and then realising they had no idea what had gone on and having to tell them and sort of having to relive momentarily this wreck of a situation.

Having no one to wait with whilst everyone was faffing and taking forever.

Everyone has someone , and are trying to get on with their lives , and I feel like I'm just on my own.

I have never in my life felt so needy or out of sync. This is not the person I used to be , or want to be.

I should be stronger than this.

When I get a little moment to myself , I just wished things were how they used to be.

But that's hopeless . Because things will never be how they used to.

I'm such an idiot.

2010-09-30T15:08:00.000+01:00

I wanna wake up in a city, that doesn’t sleep

2010-09-27T01:20:00.001+01:00

Visited New York for a week. I took my Diana Mini , and took a good amount of photographs.

I love NY to death. No jokes. I've been before. But I still feel like there is so much more to do. Every time you go , you discover something new and interesting.

We took a trip to Queens , Brooklyn , Williamsburg . Went to China town and brought Kung Fu slippers. Went up the Empire state , jumped on a boat to see the Statue of Liberty , ate insane amounts of food. Spent a day hopping from flea market to flea market. Finally made east village my favourite area of New York. Central park , MoMa , Guggenheim. Waking up at 6am and reading graphic novels on the fire escape above the buzzing streets.

New york , soon I shall return.

Heaving devotion but it's just no good,Taking it hard just like you knew I would.

2010-09-13T00:47:00.000+01:00

Funny thing is. Since I got back from Norway , I haven't slept a wink.

In any case , instead of returning feeling a little more at ease , I feel a bit worse.

Feelings aside , it was a trip that had to happen.No doubt about it.